We know that you are really in a flow now if you have been following the first 4 weeks of our 7 week New Year challenge. But in case you are just joining us now, and for those who are already on board, here is a brief refresher of what we’ve covered these last 4 weeks:
Week 1: Breathing (the simple, rewarding way)
Week 2: Meditation (the seriously enjoyable way!)
Week 3: Listening (while conserving energy!)
Week 4: Contemplating (let your child show you how!)
And now in week 5 we have the climactic step of the program that will not only help you feel at ease with yourself and your power as a parent, but will put your child at ease as well. How, you ask? One simple, yet incredibly powerful way: leading by example.
There is no doubt that when you are breathing, calm, in the flow of your own life and the world around you and, most of all, present in the moment, that your child has started to model this behavior, even if on a very subtle level. If you don’t believe this to be true, because perhaps you haven’t actually seen evidence of this yet, now is the time to test the waters by putting them to the test and watching what happens.
Egg has an excellent way of putting the kids at ease in the Spartan series by showing them that he is calm because he is confident he knows what he is doing in a foreign land, with foreign situations. The same is true for you, moms, with your child, whether you realize it or not. Your child is subconsciously relying on you every step of the way to guide him or her through new situations on a daily basis. When resistance comes up it is because they are challenging something small to you that feels way outside of the norm for them. Now is your time to understand that on a deeper level and use it to your, and their, advantage.
Try this and let us know what happens:
The next time you want your child to do something you think they may have a resistance to, such as cleaning up their toys, try this:
1. Take three deep breaths
2. Put yourself in the meditative state you have been practicing daily (described in this post)
3. Switch your energy entirely onto your child, so you are in deep listening mode
4. Begin a conversation with him or her from your state of complete contemplation, genuinely curious about what they have to say
5. Tell them in the midst of that conversation that you would like them to continue telling you more about their feelings about this topic, but that you will be better able to listen once they clean up their toys (or whatever activity you want them to do)
6. Lead them to the activity and while they do it, stay with them consciously, even if you are in the other room
7. When they are done, thank them from the bottom of your heart, making sure they know how much this means to you, and ask them if you can continue your conversation, still actively listening from before.
Does this approach make a difference for you? Please tell us your story. Let us know by leaving a comment below this post!
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